So far, transitioning from raiding role player to role playing raider has been bumpy.
As with any new social experience, I don't quite know where I fit, and what sort of jokes are alright to tell, and how things work. I'm trying to ride the line between being quiet and getting a good feel for the group, while also being a presence at all.
Too Loud, Too Quiet?
Back in Wrath, I was the non-guilded member of a guild raid group for ICC 10. They advertised for a 'sassy' healer, so I gave them sass in spades- my family was very much a tease-or-be-teased sort of group, I can both dish out and take a good thorough sarcasm and insult-fest. I thought it was all in good fun, and I didn't feel that I was being any more insulting than anyone else- certainly I was only joking around, and I thought I'd expressed to them how impressed I was with their skills and how happy I was to raid with them.
But then, later, I saw that raid leader looking in trade for a different group, for a different guild, months after the previous group had fallen by the wayside. I whispered him to see if he'd consider me for a stand in, and was told that I was highly skilled, but a 'total bitch'.
I was shocked and hurt. I suppose I'd just... misinterpreted the feel of the group. I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, I thought I was just playing around, like the rest of the group. I've always been very sensitive about the feel of a group, quick to adapt.. But somewhere, apparently, it went horribly wrong, and my sensitivity must have failed me.
After that experience, I've been more careful. Much, much more careful. I have a wicked sense of humor, but I hesitate to use it with anyone I don't know very, very well anymore. Sass is reserved for good friends only- certainly not strangers, certainly not new raid groups I'm trying to impress.
The quiet tack worked alright in Borean Kilted Yaksmen. I developed a self-effacing sense of humor, when little I did speak- and it was justified, considering as I was learning the fights. I was happy to reinforce any positivity, but I didn't trade insults with anyone. Even by the time I left that group, I think I was thought of as the 'shy' druid healer, which is a step up from a 'total bitch'.
But in Ten, 'shy' went to 'silent', and 'silent' wasn't very good. While everyone else bonded, I sat back and quietly did my job, which was alright until it became noticeable- I'd be forgotten, and, as far as group dynamics went, I seemed to have no personality whatsoever. There's not much of a point in raiding with a dedicated group, if you don't consider your fellow raiders to be friends- and vice verse. I spoke up. I got louder. I traded insults, was occasionally raucous, but never forgot the lesson I'd learned- always, always, always more positive than negative.
That's a rule I'm still careful to adhere to. The difference between ten and twenty five is very noticeable. This is also the most well put-together group I've ever raided with- it's a little more serious than any other group. I don't want to be that trial shaman who has 'no personality', but I definitely don't want to be 'that bitch' either. I listen. I watch. When I do try to joke, it's goofy- not mean, ever, even if other people are doing it, which is generally a good rule for a new person in a group anyway! I don't know if I've made much of an impression, but I'd rather play safe and careful than accidentally break the rules I haven't yet learned about how the group works.
Raiding: The Good
I was more than nervous, my first day raiding. We went 6/8- two new bosses from my 4/8! It was then that I discovered that Blizzard's default raid frames, while fine for ten man, were not fine for twenty-five. 'Heal group three!' had me blinking in bewilderment, then frantically memorizing the names of my party, relying on their proximity to tell who I was supposed to be healing, relying on nerve-wracked memory to figure it out. Definitely not ideal.
Hagara was stupidly simple, with Apotheosis' strategy, and easy for me to pick up on how to do it. Blackhorn, my other new boss, was complicated by copious quantities of deck fire, but I managed to make a good showing of myself, in spite of not knowing the fight first hand. Overall, I was incredibly relieved afterwards. I had done well. I hadn't made many mistakes. My numbers weren't at the top, but they were nothing to be ashamed of, either. Several people told me I was doing well, which was incredibly gratifying, considering how shot my nerves were; I ended the raid on a high note, not having any major screw-ups on a fight I hadn't seen before.
That week, they downed heroic Deathwing, and I was on standby, cheering them on. It was joyous!
Raiding: The Ugly
Then, next Tuesday rolled around and the same nerves happened. I'd just installed raid frames and was now healing down at the bottom of my screen instead of to the side in the middle. I was trying to learn what the different dots on Vuhdo meant, even though I'd set them up myself. I had hoped I could maintain at least middling performance, if not my very best; instead, I made every mistake possible.
I didn't heal myself and died. I ressed without waiting to be told. I got the mage killed while ressing myself unauthorized. My numbers sucked. I stood in the bad- I never stand in the bad! I died on Ultraxion for not pushing the button! I got myself killed by deck bombs on Blackhorn, and got hit by his ground cone effect, twice. I didn't drop Spirit Link Totem.
By that point I was almost in tears and I knew I was just off my game, and badly so. I whispered Kurn and said if she wanted to replace me, I was herpaderping in a serious way; but they wanted to see how I would perform on Spine of Deathwing. I was given fairly simple instructions as to when to drop my Spirit Link Totem.
In our two tries and then kill on Spine, I dropped it precisely never.
Every time I was supposed to throw it down, I missed it, and badly. My timers weren't where I was looking, as I tunnel-visioned intensely on my unfamiliar raid frames and danced in and out of sticky fire. By the time it was supposed to have gone down, the time was past and my frazzled brain would groan.
I could have done worse. I could have fallen off the dragon's back. But this didn't make me feel any better.
By raid's end, I wanted to curl up and cry for humiliation and anger. At myself, primarily. I wanted so badly to impress these people and I'd just floundered like an LFR noob through the entire night, proving every negative stereotype about role players who raid in one fell swoop.
But fortunately for me, I hadn't managed to blow it.
Why Trials are Three Weeks, Not One
I was sent the information about not using one's battle res without it being called for- something which I'd neglected to read, icing on my cake of personal failure. It was then that I finally caved to the desire to offer some explanation. I don't like making excuses; my actions should speak for themselves. But I had to say something. I was better than that. I had to tell them I could do better.
I explained that I'd changed my UI and it had messed me up, that I was feeling off my game that night, and that I understood what and where I'd done wrong. I apologized for my poor performance, but resisted the urge to add that if they wanted to kick me, 'I'd understand'- they don't need my 'understanding' to kick me, if they want to do it, they'll do it regardless, and it betrays a deep lack of confidence to say so. Not that I was feeling particularly confident after that fiasco, but ah well.
Instead of being told 'yeah, you're bad, we're asking you to get out now', I was instead told that this is why trials are three weeks; that nerves and off feelings were normal. I was offered help fixing my UI to become useable, since it had been such a problem for me, and I was told that they were bumping the schedule so that I'd be attending Deathwing's fall on Thursday, for the guild's very second kill- so chin up and be ready!
The positivity of the message gave me heart, and I was determined to prove myself, hungry to show I could be competent, that the previous raid day had been a fluke!
First pull on Deathwing and my numbers were not what I was expecting. They weren't godawful, but they were off; I managed to handle the mechanics of the fight well, and didn't do anything deeply unintelligent, which was heartening!
Then I realized I was wearing my elemental gear.
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I swapped gear, piped up in the healer channel that I'd been wearing the wrong set, and cracked my knuckles... then settled down to business.
By some miracle, and by healing my face off, I managed to rock the charts and succeed at the mechanics of the fight. Obviously charts aren't everything, but it was a good feeling! We downed him our second go- not bad for the first kill having been the previous week- and I felt absolutely invigorated. I had done well again. If my failures had been noticed, so would this.
Week Three Comes
So now it's been two weeks, and I am officially 8/8- something I never thought to accomplish so easily. I am a little disappointed that I didn't get to be part of the struggle, of the wiping and the fighting for it. But if my trial is extended or turns into an invitation to Raider status, I will use the coming weeks and months to prove myself capable, reliable, and an asset to the team- and I will have found myself a fantastic raid team for Mists of Pandaria and all it will bring.
Let's just hope this week goes better than last!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Project: Heal All The Things!
A change of pace from raiding things, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about being accepted into Apotheosis as a permanent raider- and now that we've officially cleared all heroic content for the current tier and are working on wrapping up our meta achievement, I'm looking to the future.
I have all four classes (and five specializations!) of healer at max level who have completed the current (normal mode) tier of raiding. I won't say I am exceptional as, say, a discipline priest- but I can at least carry my weight in a PuG group as any healing spec. This is intentional. I like to know how other healers heal, and I like the flexibility of being able to swap depending on what my raid needs. To be fair, I've never been asked by a raid group to swap- usually swapping is something I do when I go from one raid team to the next. But I like having the option.
I also feel that being a competent healer as any healing class gives me an edge; I have a feel for what my team-mates can do and I know better how to work with them. This is more useful from a ten-man perspective, where I will need to be more flexible about my co-healers' strengths and weaknesses; in twenty-fives, it seems like we've got everything already, and I can primarily focus on doing what I do best, as best as I can do it!
Even so, I'm faced with a dilemna: all of my healing toons except my shaman are on Wrymrest Accord. And worse, two of the three are commonly role played; the third is in a dedicated alt raid. Transferring them would not only be a monetary hardship, it would also be placing raiding above role play- and would make a statement to my friends on Wyrmrest that I am leaving them for good, which is not the case.
In addition, I haven't leveled a character since I finished leveling my much neglected warlock, whose biggest drawback was that I couldn't use her to heal, and thus only grudgingly play on ever these days. So this brings my to my new side project:
Project: Heal All The Things!
In prepping for mists, I will want to have the current four classes capable of healing at max level and ready to venture into the zones. In addition to this, I want to have each healer have one or two crafting trade skills each, without having any duplications in trade skills over all. This is also in accordance with Apotheosis' request that a raiding character have one non-gather skill, which I agree with as a common, good practice if you intend to raid.
This is made both easier and more challenging by the fact that I have a holy paladin at level 83 languishing back on Sisters of Elune, with Burning Crusade level engineering and almost maxxed mining. If I can successfully level a priest and a druid, I will bring my paladin over to Eldre'thalas and finish leveling her and her Engineering.
However, there's only three gathering skills, and there will be five classes of healer for Mists: how will I divide the tradeskills?
Here is my end goal for trade skill division:
Restoration Druid - Clementyne - Leatherworking and Skinning, worgen racial bonus to skinning speed
Discipline/Holy(Shadow) Priest - Vlixx - Tailoring and Herbalism
Holy Paladin - Ashlyra - Engineering and Mining, engineering bonus to mining
Restoration Shaman - Miurne - Jewelcrafting and Enchanting - Intended Main
Mistweaver Monk - ??? - Alchemy and Inscription
So What's The Plan?
I'm leveling these tradeskills in a somewhat unorthodox fashion, in the hopes that it'll make things easier later on.
Right now, I have Clementyne as a skinner and an herber, because, let's face it- druids are awesome for farming. I'm gathering the materials to make 'Tradeskill Kits', which is basically grabbing all the materials from a tradeskill leveling guide and storing them on a bank alt with a guild bank.
Clem is also saving all her cloth for when Vlixx comes ally-side. Oh yes, did I mention Vlixx is starting as a troll? I'll be leveling him (male trolls > lady trolls) with my fiancee, who has never managed to level a tanking druid- until now, of course! Vlixx will claim his leveling partner's cloth as well, hording it away in his bank until he can can become a lady gnome of the same name... muahahahaha!
Once Clem and Vlixx have reached max level and are ally-side once more, I will bring over Ashlyra from Sisters of Elune and max out her mining and engineering. That accomplished, I can then drop mining on Miurne and herbalism on Clem, and use all my horded materials to level Clem's leatherworking and Vlixx's tailoring.
The crafted goods I create from leatherworking and tailoring will then be sent to Miurne, who will use them to level enchanting- a pain in the ass, but a solid raiding profession to have. I will probably also supplement by buying pure enchanting mats off the auction house, and blowing up lowbie dungeons to obtain the mats I need; it's a good thing I'm comfortable with my elemental spec! This also gives an advantage to my intended main. After all, Apotheosis recruited me as a shaman, and, for the moment, shaman is my favorite healing class to play.
I'll be saving all those herbs for my Mistweaver; because I don't know how the different classes will feel to me come MoP, I wasn't sure which class to give the two-tradeskill advantage to. However, I anticipate that the leveling zones will be flooded with new monks when MoP drops, which means heavy node competition. I might as well give the toon I'll be leveling 'from scratch' the advantage so I don't have to compete for herbs or ore!
First Step!
So for now, I'm leveling my druid by herbing and killing things to skin them, while being queued as a healer. I'll probably be forced to actually quest in another ten or twenty levels, but for now, the levels fly by every time I do a dungeon- my herbalism and skinning are lagging behind my leveling.
I'll also need to obtain a bum-load of fancy bags for storing herbs and leather; I plan to keep the materials needed for Clem's Leatherworking in her own bank so I can dedicate my bank alt's bankspace for Vlixx's cloth and my mistweaver's many, many, MANY herbs.
My fiancee has promised me we can start leveling our duo toons ASAP, but he's notorious for his slow pace, so we'll see how that works out. He wants us to be horde because I've never quested on horde much, which means we'll be leveling by questing, not dungeons. My plan is to make my main spec discipline, and when I dual spec, go shadow; double healing specs can wait for max level.
I do worry that it's a little presumptuous to plan so extensively, when I am still in my trial period with Apotheosis... but at this point, if I am rejected, I could still scrap it and try it anew on whatever server I end up on. And, fingers crossed- I think they're going to keep me!
I have all four classes (and five specializations!) of healer at max level who have completed the current (normal mode) tier of raiding. I won't say I am exceptional as, say, a discipline priest- but I can at least carry my weight in a PuG group as any healing spec. This is intentional. I like to know how other healers heal, and I like the flexibility of being able to swap depending on what my raid needs. To be fair, I've never been asked by a raid group to swap- usually swapping is something I do when I go from one raid team to the next. But I like having the option.
I also feel that being a competent healer as any healing class gives me an edge; I have a feel for what my team-mates can do and I know better how to work with them. This is more useful from a ten-man perspective, where I will need to be more flexible about my co-healers' strengths and weaknesses; in twenty-fives, it seems like we've got everything already, and I can primarily focus on doing what I do best, as best as I can do it!
Even so, I'm faced with a dilemna: all of my healing toons except my shaman are on Wrymrest Accord. And worse, two of the three are commonly role played; the third is in a dedicated alt raid. Transferring them would not only be a monetary hardship, it would also be placing raiding above role play- and would make a statement to my friends on Wyrmrest that I am leaving them for good, which is not the case.
In addition, I haven't leveled a character since I finished leveling my much neglected warlock, whose biggest drawback was that I couldn't use her to heal, and thus only grudgingly play on ever these days. So this brings my to my new side project:
Project: Heal All The Things!
In prepping for mists, I will want to have the current four classes capable of healing at max level and ready to venture into the zones. In addition to this, I want to have each healer have one or two crafting trade skills each, without having any duplications in trade skills over all. This is also in accordance with Apotheosis' request that a raiding character have one non-gather skill, which I agree with as a common, good practice if you intend to raid.
This is made both easier and more challenging by the fact that I have a holy paladin at level 83 languishing back on Sisters of Elune, with Burning Crusade level engineering and almost maxxed mining. If I can successfully level a priest and a druid, I will bring my paladin over to Eldre'thalas and finish leveling her and her Engineering.
However, there's only three gathering skills, and there will be five classes of healer for Mists: how will I divide the tradeskills?
Here is my end goal for trade skill division:
Restoration Druid - Clementyne - Leatherworking and Skinning, worgen racial bonus to skinning speed
Discipline/Holy(Shadow) Priest - Vlixx - Tailoring and Herbalism
Holy Paladin - Ashlyra - Engineering and Mining, engineering bonus to mining
Restoration Shaman - Miurne - Jewelcrafting and Enchanting - Intended Main
Mistweaver Monk - ??? - Alchemy and Inscription
So What's The Plan?
I'm leveling these tradeskills in a somewhat unorthodox fashion, in the hopes that it'll make things easier later on.
Right now, I have Clementyne as a skinner and an herber, because, let's face it- druids are awesome for farming. I'm gathering the materials to make 'Tradeskill Kits', which is basically grabbing all the materials from a tradeskill leveling guide and storing them on a bank alt with a guild bank.
Clem is also saving all her cloth for when Vlixx comes ally-side. Oh yes, did I mention Vlixx is starting as a troll? I'll be leveling him (male trolls > lady trolls) with my fiancee, who has never managed to level a tanking druid- until now, of course! Vlixx will claim his leveling partner's cloth as well, hording it away in his bank until he can can become a lady gnome of the same name... muahahahaha!
Once Clem and Vlixx have reached max level and are ally-side once more, I will bring over Ashlyra from Sisters of Elune and max out her mining and engineering. That accomplished, I can then drop mining on Miurne and herbalism on Clem, and use all my horded materials to level Clem's leatherworking and Vlixx's tailoring.
The crafted goods I create from leatherworking and tailoring will then be sent to Miurne, who will use them to level enchanting- a pain in the ass, but a solid raiding profession to have. I will probably also supplement by buying pure enchanting mats off the auction house, and blowing up lowbie dungeons to obtain the mats I need; it's a good thing I'm comfortable with my elemental spec! This also gives an advantage to my intended main. After all, Apotheosis recruited me as a shaman, and, for the moment, shaman is my favorite healing class to play.
I'll be saving all those herbs for my Mistweaver; because I don't know how the different classes will feel to me come MoP, I wasn't sure which class to give the two-tradeskill advantage to. However, I anticipate that the leveling zones will be flooded with new monks when MoP drops, which means heavy node competition. I might as well give the toon I'll be leveling 'from scratch' the advantage so I don't have to compete for herbs or ore!
First Step!
So for now, I'm leveling my druid by herbing and killing things to skin them, while being queued as a healer. I'll probably be forced to actually quest in another ten or twenty levels, but for now, the levels fly by every time I do a dungeon- my herbalism and skinning are lagging behind my leveling.
I'll also need to obtain a bum-load of fancy bags for storing herbs and leather; I plan to keep the materials needed for Clem's Leatherworking in her own bank so I can dedicate my bank alt's bankspace for Vlixx's cloth and my mistweaver's many, many, MANY herbs.
My fiancee has promised me we can start leveling our duo toons ASAP, but he's notorious for his slow pace, so we'll see how that works out. He wants us to be horde because I've never quested on horde much, which means we'll be leveling by questing, not dungeons. My plan is to make my main spec discipline, and when I dual spec, go shadow; double healing specs can wait for max level.
I do worry that it's a little presumptuous to plan so extensively, when I am still in my trial period with Apotheosis... but at this point, if I am rejected, I could still scrap it and try it anew on whatever server I end up on. And, fingers crossed- I think they're going to keep me!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
An Applicant's Story
So there I was, raidless at 4/8 heroic, not knowing where to turn next...
I've always had the secret desire to apply to a hard-core raid guild, just- to see if I could do it. To see if I could get through the application process, and to prove myself, to finally, 'for realsies' step past my humble beginnings and raid with the kind of intensity I'd read about.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I would say that I have almost always been one of the best researched, most on-paper precise raiders in any given raid team. I won't say I was the best player, because I have my moments of fire-standing mouth-breathing pants-on-head 'hurrrrrrr'; but I've always been one of the better players, with a few exceptions, and at times I have been the best, or close to.
And as much of a reputation as I have managed to build among my clique of rp friends, or at least those who have any interest in PVE- it's still a small, limited pond. I take a great deal of pride in how well I perform, and maybe I'm respected in my own social circles, but I want more than that- and after a week of PuGging on all my healers, I finally took a deep breath and decided to pursue it.
What I Was Looking For
It's one thing to be invited to a hard core raid guild on the whim of a friend; as much fun as I had, and as much as I appreciated the opportunity to learn and improve, I never felt like I'd really earned my place. I wasn't happy to have been carried, it isn't something I really feel I can take a lot of pride in... and while I became an asset to the team, I wasn't there when they were pouring sweat, blood, and tears into their progression. I felt like I was just a tag-along.
I guess feeling like a part of the team is important to me. It's one thing I got from my ten-man group that I sorely missed after it disbanded; as often as they drove me nuts, I knew where I stood, I knew I was an asset, and I knew I would work hard- and so would they. At times, I wished they were a little more dedicated, a little less emotional; but even with the problems, it was still some of the most fun I've had raiding, because we had to fight tooth and nail for each kill.
So it wasn't just that I was only 4/8 that led me to wanting to find a guild that hadn't downed heroic Deathwing yet; and it wasn't a lack of friends in the raiding community that led me to apping to a group of strangers.
I wanted what I had, but refined. I wanted people who also researched, the way I did. I wanted to be in a group that wasn't going to give up, that was serious about being on time, and- very importantly- that wasn't ragey, that didn't get increasingly angry and morose wipe after wipe. I wanted a group that saw the way I did. I wanted a bench so that if I missed a day, the raid would go on; so that sometimes, I would be on standby.
The Application Process
I applied to Apotheosis, because they needed a restoration shaman, because their raid times were similar to my previous one, and because two of their healers were bloggers I'd been reading for years as reference material. I didn't know if I'd get in, but I felt I had a good chance.
It took me hours to perfect my application; yes, hours. It's just a game, right? Why would I do that?
Because I wanted it. I wanted it so badly, and I felt that my application would be the first impression they had of me. I'd day-dreamed of applying to a 'big' guild before and my strongest asset as a player without the same level of experience, was my ability to demonstrate my understanding on paper. I had references for raiding ready to go, if they asked. I wanted it to be hard. I wanted to be scrutinized, to be questioned in a way that none of my previous raid leaders had questioned me. I wanted to have to prove myself, to have to fight for a position.
And they did question me. They wanted to know why I'd specced the way I had, why I'd reforged the way I had- and I had never been scrutinized like that before, not by any raid leader! Just by apping, I stepped up my game by realizing a different meta gem brought better bonuses for me at my current gear level. A small thing- and something no one else I'd ever raided with would have even thought to question!
Every time someone replied to my application, I would feel a jolt of excitement- primarily because I am a dork, but also because they were really, seriously thinking about letting me in.
Lessons Learned
If I could repeat the process, I would try to be less neurotic about it. I made mistakes in being too quick to jump to conclusions; when asked about my casting set-up, I went into a palpable emo-fit over being a keyboard turner and let them if they wanted to turn me down for it, I understood and it was okay. I don't know what they may have thought about that, but I facepalm looking back. I should have been more confident, and not quite so quick to decide I was unworthy for them; that sort of behaviour stinks of being obsequious, having low-self esteem, and is irritating besides.
The things I feel I did correctly were having a well-written application, and making sure I had ALL the information- before I apped, I took the time to go run both halves of an LFR and post the data. I notice a lot of applicants who don't have World of Logs information ready, and this just seems lazy; I didn't have data from progression runs, but at least I had something, which is what they were asking for. I made sure I'd read all their expectations and that I was going to meet them without having to modify my gemming or enchanting- with the exception of a run-speed enchant on my boots, which I waited to be accepted to change; if I didn't get in to Apotheosis, I was not going to bother with run-speed.
I also made sure to ask a lot of questions. A lot of folks don't seem to realize that an interview process goes both ways- I wanted to make sure Apotheosis was really what I thought it was going to be. If there were things I didn't like, I wanted to know BEFORE I transferred, so that I could weigh the benefits to the negatives and make sure my decision was well-informed.
I quietly prepared my shaman for a server transfer, but also looked in to other guilds that fit my desires. If Apotheosis didn't take me, I wasn't going to give up- I had several back ups that I was waiting to apply to, should Apotheosis decline me.
However, they didn't decline me. In spite of my slightly neurotic fit about being a key-board turner, and in spite of the fact that I didn't have the experience I would have assumed they'd want, my application was accepted and I was invited to transfer over and receive a guild invite under the ranking of 'Trial'!
I've always had the secret desire to apply to a hard-core raid guild, just- to see if I could do it. To see if I could get through the application process, and to prove myself, to finally, 'for realsies' step past my humble beginnings and raid with the kind of intensity I'd read about.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I would say that I have almost always been one of the best researched, most on-paper precise raiders in any given raid team. I won't say I was the best player, because I have my moments of fire-standing mouth-breathing pants-on-head 'hurrrrrrr'; but I've always been one of the better players, with a few exceptions, and at times I have been the best, or close to.
And as much of a reputation as I have managed to build among my clique of rp friends, or at least those who have any interest in PVE- it's still a small, limited pond. I take a great deal of pride in how well I perform, and maybe I'm respected in my own social circles, but I want more than that- and after a week of PuGging on all my healers, I finally took a deep breath and decided to pursue it.
What I Was Looking For
It's one thing to be invited to a hard core raid guild on the whim of a friend; as much fun as I had, and as much as I appreciated the opportunity to learn and improve, I never felt like I'd really earned my place. I wasn't happy to have been carried, it isn't something I really feel I can take a lot of pride in... and while I became an asset to the team, I wasn't there when they were pouring sweat, blood, and tears into their progression. I felt like I was just a tag-along.
I guess feeling like a part of the team is important to me. It's one thing I got from my ten-man group that I sorely missed after it disbanded; as often as they drove me nuts, I knew where I stood, I knew I was an asset, and I knew I would work hard- and so would they. At times, I wished they were a little more dedicated, a little less emotional; but even with the problems, it was still some of the most fun I've had raiding, because we had to fight tooth and nail for each kill.
So it wasn't just that I was only 4/8 that led me to wanting to find a guild that hadn't downed heroic Deathwing yet; and it wasn't a lack of friends in the raiding community that led me to apping to a group of strangers.
I wanted what I had, but refined. I wanted people who also researched, the way I did. I wanted to be in a group that wasn't going to give up, that was serious about being on time, and- very importantly- that wasn't ragey, that didn't get increasingly angry and morose wipe after wipe. I wanted a group that saw the way I did. I wanted a bench so that if I missed a day, the raid would go on; so that sometimes, I would be on standby.
The Application Process
I applied to Apotheosis, because they needed a restoration shaman, because their raid times were similar to my previous one, and because two of their healers were bloggers I'd been reading for years as reference material. I didn't know if I'd get in, but I felt I had a good chance.
It took me hours to perfect my application; yes, hours. It's just a game, right? Why would I do that?
Because I wanted it. I wanted it so badly, and I felt that my application would be the first impression they had of me. I'd day-dreamed of applying to a 'big' guild before and my strongest asset as a player without the same level of experience, was my ability to demonstrate my understanding on paper. I had references for raiding ready to go, if they asked. I wanted it to be hard. I wanted to be scrutinized, to be questioned in a way that none of my previous raid leaders had questioned me. I wanted to have to prove myself, to have to fight for a position.
And they did question me. They wanted to know why I'd specced the way I had, why I'd reforged the way I had- and I had never been scrutinized like that before, not by any raid leader! Just by apping, I stepped up my game by realizing a different meta gem brought better bonuses for me at my current gear level. A small thing- and something no one else I'd ever raided with would have even thought to question!
Every time someone replied to my application, I would feel a jolt of excitement- primarily because I am a dork, but also because they were really, seriously thinking about letting me in.
Lessons Learned
If I could repeat the process, I would try to be less neurotic about it. I made mistakes in being too quick to jump to conclusions; when asked about my casting set-up, I went into a palpable emo-fit over being a keyboard turner and let them if they wanted to turn me down for it, I understood and it was okay. I don't know what they may have thought about that, but I facepalm looking back. I should have been more confident, and not quite so quick to decide I was unworthy for them; that sort of behaviour stinks of being obsequious, having low-self esteem, and is irritating besides.
The things I feel I did correctly were having a well-written application, and making sure I had ALL the information- before I apped, I took the time to go run both halves of an LFR and post the data. I notice a lot of applicants who don't have World of Logs information ready, and this just seems lazy; I didn't have data from progression runs, but at least I had something, which is what they were asking for. I made sure I'd read all their expectations and that I was going to meet them without having to modify my gemming or enchanting- with the exception of a run-speed enchant on my boots, which I waited to be accepted to change; if I didn't get in to Apotheosis, I was not going to bother with run-speed.
I also made sure to ask a lot of questions. A lot of folks don't seem to realize that an interview process goes both ways- I wanted to make sure Apotheosis was really what I thought it was going to be. If there were things I didn't like, I wanted to know BEFORE I transferred, so that I could weigh the benefits to the negatives and make sure my decision was well-informed.
I quietly prepared my shaman for a server transfer, but also looked in to other guilds that fit my desires. If Apotheosis didn't take me, I wasn't going to give up- I had several back ups that I was waiting to apply to, should Apotheosis decline me.
However, they didn't decline me. In spite of my slightly neurotic fit about being a key-board turner, and in spite of the fact that I didn't have the experience I would have assumed they'd want, my application was accepted and I was invited to transfer over and receive a guild invite under the ranking of 'Trial'!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
From Wrath to Cataclysm, Normal to Heroic
Last time I posted here was the tail-end of Wrath of the Lich King, and now it is that very same period, one expansion later.
We have several months to go, at the very least, before Mists of Pandaria's eagerly anticipated changes take place, before we have new content to explore. Most of the high-end guilds have downed the last boss of the expansion. With the twenty percent nerf firmly in place, many guilds are pursuing heroic modes.
This time, last expansion, I was floundering away on my RP server, overjoyed to find a raid group that would have me despite my predilection for roleplay. The expansion has changed a lot of things for me, and I have discovered the following-
Role play and raiding are best left separate.
Part of my problem in Wrath was that the character I most wanted to raid on, was also the character I role played on as my 'main'.
In Cataclysm, I tried very hard to make raiding work for me, but in the end, with the advent of guild perks and guild achievements, it was a tough world for a progression minded freelancer. After putting together a PuG group of competent role players (some of whom turned out to be sadly less competent than anticipated,) and watching it turn into a revolving door for folks to get geared and join Real raid groups and guilds, I gave up trying to lead my own. Joining another didn't help; then I had to deal with the fact that role players who raid often feel entitled to be unpleasant and critical in non-helpful ways towards those they feel are inferior raiders. Whether or not their criticisms ring true is irrelevant.
I got an offer that changed the entire face of my raiding career- an off-handed, casual sort of offer, from someone I'd met through role play.
I was invited to come to his server and raid heroic Firelands on my somewhat shabby restoration druid, to replace the one they'd had that left. The caveat was that the group was disbanding in three months, but I immediately jumped at the chance.
A server transfer later and I was experiencing the first hard modes of my life. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was doing. I did my best, I researched a little before hand, but it was all frantic and hectic and, to make it worse? I was two-healing with the holy paladin, who was quite cheerfully carrying my lagging numbers.
But I got better. And I thrived. I won't say I was the best they'd had, because that would probably be untrue. But what the experience did teach me was that I was capable and happy to do heroic content; that my technical knowledge and ability to learn encounters would allow for it, and that I could even thrive in such an environment.
A server first deathwing kill later, and the Dream Team disbanded for SWTOR... I transferred my druid back and hunted for a new raid team, intending to put her in an Actual Raid Guild, since I'd had such a better experience that way.
The next team I encountered included a very good friend of mine, so I jumped to join. They were a small ten man team with an eye toward heroic modes, but they already had a restoration druid.
My poor, neglected Shaman's time had come. Enter Miurne, a lightly role played but mostly abandoned character decked out in 346 heroic gear and never touched a raid since reaching level cap. I studied. I got her prepared. And we kicked Deathwing in the face, with some struggle.
We ended up 4/8 heroic before burn-out happened. The were were some things that I didn't enjoy as much about being in that group. We only had ten players; if any one person didn't show, we wouldn't see progression. If any one person was late, we all waited. There were some disagreements about strategy that turned into passive-aggressive vent dropping; there was trolling intended in jest, that went too far. Feelings were hurt. The team suffered for it, and it made for an environment that was frequently stressful to me; though I distanced myself from both trolling and raging alike, the presence of it got to be distracting and unpleasant.
I thought I'd be relieved, when the group finally collapsed; I was glad to have my evenings back, but as soon as it disbanded, I felt sudden, crippling sadness that I would never accomplish what I wanted to this expansion: Kill the end boss on heroic. I would never live to see my healing potential realized, just like I never got to kill Arthas in Wrath or ever see heroic content while it was relevant and hard.
I also missed my old guildies. Despite the drama and angst, we were quite close.
I knew I had to fill the void somewhere... so I started looking, and I found exactly what I was hoping for...
But would my experience level allow for it? A derpy role playing raider, applying to the guild of people whose blogs she'd read for years?
We have several months to go, at the very least, before Mists of Pandaria's eagerly anticipated changes take place, before we have new content to explore. Most of the high-end guilds have downed the last boss of the expansion. With the twenty percent nerf firmly in place, many guilds are pursuing heroic modes.
This time, last expansion, I was floundering away on my RP server, overjoyed to find a raid group that would have me despite my predilection for roleplay. The expansion has changed a lot of things for me, and I have discovered the following-
Role play and raiding are best left separate.
Part of my problem in Wrath was that the character I most wanted to raid on, was also the character I role played on as my 'main'.
In Cataclysm, I tried very hard to make raiding work for me, but in the end, with the advent of guild perks and guild achievements, it was a tough world for a progression minded freelancer. After putting together a PuG group of competent role players (some of whom turned out to be sadly less competent than anticipated,) and watching it turn into a revolving door for folks to get geared and join Real raid groups and guilds, I gave up trying to lead my own. Joining another didn't help; then I had to deal with the fact that role players who raid often feel entitled to be unpleasant and critical in non-helpful ways towards those they feel are inferior raiders. Whether or not their criticisms ring true is irrelevant.
I got an offer that changed the entire face of my raiding career- an off-handed, casual sort of offer, from someone I'd met through role play.
I was invited to come to his server and raid heroic Firelands on my somewhat shabby restoration druid, to replace the one they'd had that left. The caveat was that the group was disbanding in three months, but I immediately jumped at the chance.
A server transfer later and I was experiencing the first hard modes of my life. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was doing. I did my best, I researched a little before hand, but it was all frantic and hectic and, to make it worse? I was two-healing with the holy paladin, who was quite cheerfully carrying my lagging numbers.
But I got better. And I thrived. I won't say I was the best they'd had, because that would probably be untrue. But what the experience did teach me was that I was capable and happy to do heroic content; that my technical knowledge and ability to learn encounters would allow for it, and that I could even thrive in such an environment.
A server first deathwing kill later, and the Dream Team disbanded for SWTOR... I transferred my druid back and hunted for a new raid team, intending to put her in an Actual Raid Guild, since I'd had such a better experience that way.
The next team I encountered included a very good friend of mine, so I jumped to join. They were a small ten man team with an eye toward heroic modes, but they already had a restoration druid.
My poor, neglected Shaman's time had come. Enter Miurne, a lightly role played but mostly abandoned character decked out in 346 heroic gear and never touched a raid since reaching level cap. I studied. I got her prepared. And we kicked Deathwing in the face, with some struggle.
We ended up 4/8 heroic before burn-out happened. The were were some things that I didn't enjoy as much about being in that group. We only had ten players; if any one person didn't show, we wouldn't see progression. If any one person was late, we all waited. There were some disagreements about strategy that turned into passive-aggressive vent dropping; there was trolling intended in jest, that went too far. Feelings were hurt. The team suffered for it, and it made for an environment that was frequently stressful to me; though I distanced myself from both trolling and raging alike, the presence of it got to be distracting and unpleasant.
I thought I'd be relieved, when the group finally collapsed; I was glad to have my evenings back, but as soon as it disbanded, I felt sudden, crippling sadness that I would never accomplish what I wanted to this expansion: Kill the end boss on heroic. I would never live to see my healing potential realized, just like I never got to kill Arthas in Wrath or ever see heroic content while it was relevant and hard.
I also missed my old guildies. Despite the drama and angst, we were quite close.
I knew I had to fill the void somewhere... so I started looking, and I found exactly what I was hoping for...
But would my experience level allow for it? A derpy role playing raider, applying to the guild of people whose blogs she'd read for years?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Turns out it -was- too much!
You know how I asked how much was too much?
Yeah. Raiding all four of the days I had off, multiple raids a day, kinda burned me. Plus there was the whole frantic grind for frost emblems for my T10 helm/prims for boots.
Last week I managed to get my helm and boots right before we took on Lich King on Tuesday, and it was sexy. We managed to get to Phase 2 a bunch, buuut we kept wiping, which was fine, we were learning the fight. We spent three hours doing that, and we did significantly improve. We learned a lot about positioning!
We tried to regroup on Thursday, but not enough people showed up, sadly. Honestly, though, I was feeling pretty crappy- I had some a summer cold- so I was just as glad.
I declined ICC10 on Wednesday on my shaman, and on Friday I got invited to that 25-man on Dyna, but I said 'mehhh'.
I haven't even been running my daily heroic for frost emblems. I am suddenly the picture of apathy, and I hardly even want to log on...
Part of this is because this wonderful new raid group? The raid leader and main tank is leaving for a few weeks. Q_Q The raid will go on, but... I dunno. It's a bummer.
The other part is that... I just don't feel like it.
I've got a great group that I absolutely adore, and I am pumped to raid with them again. But now that I have experienced this wonderful, amazing- COMPETENCE- in comparison with what I had PuGging?
I don't want to go back!
I don't -want- to deal with the PuG rogue who tells me 'lol mail is 4 shamenz i h8 pallyz who where mail'.
I don't -want- to deal with the tank who isn't def capped and is pulling like a fiend while letting everyone else get aggro.
The idea of queuing for a random lately makes me go 'eennnnhhhhh...'
I mean. I need my off-set gloves. It's a nice upgrade. And I need my prims for my new legs. That'll be a nice upgrade, too.
But... they aren't -that- massive of upgrades... and... blehhh. I'll get them before the raid leader gets back. Mehhhh.
Also, RP has been kickin' lately, so- yay!
Yeah. Raiding all four of the days I had off, multiple raids a day, kinda burned me. Plus there was the whole frantic grind for frost emblems for my T10 helm/prims for boots.
Last week I managed to get my helm and boots right before we took on Lich King on Tuesday, and it was sexy. We managed to get to Phase 2 a bunch, buuut we kept wiping, which was fine, we were learning the fight. We spent three hours doing that, and we did significantly improve. We learned a lot about positioning!
We tried to regroup on Thursday, but not enough people showed up, sadly. Honestly, though, I was feeling pretty crappy- I had some a summer cold- so I was just as glad.
I declined ICC10 on Wednesday on my shaman, and on Friday I got invited to that 25-man on Dyna, but I said 'mehhh'.
I haven't even been running my daily heroic for frost emblems. I am suddenly the picture of apathy, and I hardly even want to log on...
Part of this is because this wonderful new raid group? The raid leader and main tank is leaving for a few weeks. Q_Q The raid will go on, but... I dunno. It's a bummer.
The other part is that... I just don't feel like it.
I've got a great group that I absolutely adore, and I am pumped to raid with them again. But now that I have experienced this wonderful, amazing- COMPETENCE- in comparison with what I had PuGging?
I don't want to go back!
I don't -want- to deal with the PuG rogue who tells me 'lol mail is 4 shamenz i h8 pallyz who where mail'.
I don't -want- to deal with the tank who isn't def capped and is pulling like a fiend while letting everyone else get aggro.
The idea of queuing for a random lately makes me go 'eennnnhhhhh...'
I mean. I need my off-set gloves. It's a nice upgrade. And I need my prims for my new legs. That'll be a nice upgrade, too.
But... they aren't -that- massive of upgrades... and... blehhh. I'll get them before the raid leader gets back. Mehhhh.
Also, RP has been kickin' lately, so- yay!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
How much is too much?
This time last week I was still buzzing from the excitement of my one, lonely successful ICC10 PuG group.
But the past four days have each consisted of ICC raiding. To be honest, it was a bit much!
Tuesday rolls around. I posted last week that I was silently stalking the raid leader of the group I had such a great time with, and that I was going to conveniently be online when their raid was due to form. However, he beat me to the punch! I get a whisper- "Would you be interested in coming to ICC tonight?" I try not to explode into smithereens of absolute giddy pleasure and quickly respond, "Hell yeah!" There's an invite on my calender and I'm quickly stocking up on the things I need to raid, making sure I'm repaired, etc.
I ended up doing a ToC25 PuG in another effort to get 'my' shield or 'my' trinket, but we couldn't down Anub before I end up needing to leave to go to ICC. It was pretty spectacularly horrible. I wanted to bash my head against a wall by the end of it. I drop vent and head to the other vent, and immediately begin to feel better as I hear voices which are already familiar.
It was, as like last week, an absolute mind-blowing joy to raid with them.
I got boots off of Marrowgar which I almost refused to take because they were 'icky crit boots' but then I realized that baseline they still had more int, plus two sockets... so I took them. Which great reluctance. Now they're gemmed, but not enchanted, and I'm wearing them and sulking about it; just you wait until I get my crafted boots!
One shot everything and it's on to Valithria. I explain to the shaman healer I've been two-healing this with that I... have never successfully restored Valithria to her full health. That I am (tragically) a keyboard turner and am nervous about 'doing this fight right'. He explains that we just need to gather as many stacks as we can in the portals, explains he's on a laptop too and understands my pain, and then challenges me (in a friendly fashion) to outheal him; he says that even if I don't end up with any stacks, as long as I'm mainly healing the dragon he could probably heal it himself just with that little bit of help.
This makes me feel better. I beacon one of the tanks, and -get to it-.
It was actually kind of fun! Unfortunately, the last two portals I'd inadvertantly let my stacks fall off because I blew my CDs and went balls to the walls and didn't notice the portals opening, I was too entranced by the pretty green numbers with the, what, 19 stacks of buff? ... but we had it anyway, even with my lapse in judgement. (By the way, the shaman beat me- but not by toooo much!) She even dropped me some nice (HASTE) shaman mail that the shaman didn't want to replace my icky crit T10 gloves once I get my T10 helm! I'll wear them until I can accrue the frost emblems for the awesome off-set 264 gloves- om nom nom!
Then it's off to Rottie and Fester. I don't remember much except some people go upgrades, which was great! We still had some time... so, raid leader says we'll do one or two attempts on Putrecide and re-group on Thursday.
Well what do you know, we one shot the bastard.
Feeling great, we disband, and I enthuse to the shaman healer about how awesome it was to raid with them and how much I love cohealing with him, because shaman plus paladin equals pure sex in terms of healing composition in a melee heavy group!
Wednesday rolls around, and, oh, hey? You know how I got my shaman into a new guild? She's signed up for ICC10! Welllll ooookaaay. Twist my arm. I need the frost emblems to fund Dyna's boots anyway. We head in and...
Well, I don't know. I think I went temporarily retarded. Being DPS seems to do that to me. =/ On Marrowgar I kept finding myself not where I was supposed to be, almost missed the call for heroism because my macro didn't pop right. Deathwhisper, I kept critting myself in the face on the mobs I wasn't supposed to hit, and had to ask 'how do I know which ones I shouldn't hit?' which was responded to with 'they have bubbles around them'. Right. The giant reflective bubbles that mean I-- oh fuck I just crit myself in the face again. I felt stupid.
We wiped a few times on Deathwhisper then downed her. Then did the weekly raid quest, which was to kill a frost giant- that was fun, and I didn't fuck up there. Then we move onto Gunship, and we're told to get rocket packs. I go to grab a rocket pack, click past the text-- OH SHIT THE FIGHT IS STARTING. Guess who talked to the wrong NPC.
I wanted to slam my face into a wall, I felt so dumb. I was appalled at myself. Still, we one-shot it; I mean, lootshit, duh. Then we move on to Saurfang, and I managed not to look like a moron there; even got a shiny necklace upgrade.
I don't remember if we downed Festergut. I don't think we did.
Overall, I was the top DPS; but each individual fight I was second. The mage and rogue fought between first and third, but I was consistantly second. I guess I did alright, but my sheer stupidity elsewhere makes me cringe. I did apologize to the raid leader and I did fess up to my mistakes, I didn't try to let someone else take the blame, at least. This raid, though it had people I knew, wasn't as much fun as the one on my holy pala. The raid group Dyna raids with is so amazingly competent. I'm not really one to talk (apparently) because I failed a lot, but... I don't know. No one even said anything when I fucked up, other than 'oh shit we're starting' on Gunship. But, eh, ICC raiding. I get to do it. I'm happy.
Thursday happens. We have Blood Wing and our progression boss- Sindragosa. We one shot Blood Princes, and two-shot Blood Queen but sadly miss the weekly raid quest on it- oh well! Then it's off to beat our faces against Sindragosa.
I will admit it. I expected us to down her, going into that.
It took some work, though. We hammered out positions. We fixed our strats. We had some really heartbreaking wipes- 12%, if only, if only!! Then the PuG retpally says 'sorry guys gotta go' and drops. After, like, three wipes. You knew this was progression night, I call you a pansy for quitting. Pfeh! So we try to nine man it.
This doesn't work either; strangely, we have the DPS... but two healing it is killing us. Literally. We consistantly get to third phase, and consistantly, one of the healers gets blocked and the other one can't keep everyone up alone. Saaaad.
I manage to pique the interest of a friend who 'quit wow', but was lurking on a lowbie alt, who brought in her ICC25HM geared ele shammy... we try three healing...
It's messy. We made some mistakes, things that were preventable. But that damn dragon dies, even after the raid leader says 'well that was a good attempt guys...' Silly raid leader!
The ele shammy wasn't even the top DPS, despite her amazing gear; I think she was kinda rusty, to be honest. Still, she pulled out the stops at the end and self ressed, pumping every ounce of pain she had into the dragon.
That's how I became a 11/12 ICC10 raider in two weeks!
We visit Arthas, do one wipe just for fun, just to see how the fight starts, and we're laughing and giddy as we die. Turns out? The edge of the platform really does mean the edge of the platform. Not on the edge doesn't cut it. Who'd've thought it?!
Then Friday hits, and... well. Frankly I'm kinda raided out. I just want to hang out in my skivvies and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and eat jello because it's hot and my head hurts. But... I signed up for the 25man. And I'll be damned if I won't honor my obligations. Besides, Marrowgar drops a sexy sexy shield that I'd really like to have; I already decided if the shield off of Sindi drops for us (which it didn't) the shaman gets it, I won't even roll, just because I know he really really wants it, and I've already gotten a fair bit out of loot raiding with them.
So I log on. And I do the raid thing. And it would've been okay, except my head is pounding, it's hot, and, oh, the raid is supposed to last for five hours. Five. Hours. And if you leave early, you won't get another invite back. Ffffffff.
We one shot everything up to Rotface, we do the weekly raid quest, I get a butt-ton of frost emblems and rep and all, but nothing I'm even remotely interested in drops. Eh. Oh well. We wipe a few times on Rotface, then down him, and move onto Fester.
For fuck's sake, we wiped on Festergut at least nine times after waiting for someone who is AFK for half an hour, re-explaining the fight to new people PuGged in at least four times... we're wiping because people are running the wrong way, there's oozes in the raid, and I want to just bash my face into a wall because it would feel more productive than this.
When the trash respawned, I finally gave in. "I'm sorry, guys, my head is killing me and I can't see straight. I hate to be 'that guy' who leaves, but I can't do this anymore, I'm not even healing at max capacity'. Which was true. My tank kept dying. Mostly because we had a shit-ton of oozes and no one was doing the right thing, but even with me- ME, a paladin- AND a tree druid on him, he was still biting the dust. I can say I messed up a bit, trying to make him my beacon target and healing other people- he'd be out of range and then POOF die. And I messed up because sometimes he was just out of range after we ran out for whatever the crap that AoE is. I don't know. I wasn't at my best, and my tank died, and I don't know how much of it was me not being at my best, and how much of it was unnecessary damage from DPS being retarded.
And now it's Saturday, and I'm glad I've got no more obligations until next Tuesday. You know. Because, by the way? My cohealer shaman in that raid group? LOVES me. Adores me. And the raid leader has extended a tentative invitation for me to be part of their group, even if I'm not guilded with them. Hell, they even helped me gem and enchant my upgrades! It was- I mean, I felt so- happy... because I was a part of their group. And they wanted to help me. And I want to help them. And if I wasn't in an RP guild that I can't leave, I WOULD JOIN THEM IN A HEARTBEAT. Just so they know for sure that I'm not leaving them anytime soon, if only they'll keep me around!
I'm two days away from my T10 helm, then I get to wear my shiny new haste shaman mail. I'm 3/5 primordial saronite for my boots, then I'm working on pants. Because damn it. Those pants are really, really nice. Once I get the frost emblem gloves, Dyna's frosts will also go towards prims, instead of just Iztli's, and I'm hoping the process will become much faster. I'm still dreading it, though.
But yes. Raiding overload. Too much of a good thing... can be a bad thing. I think I'll stick to Dyna's ten man team, and skip the 25... probably... there's some really nice gear out of 25... Maybe DPS on Iztli for her group, if they even want me around after last week's show of stupid.
But the past four days have each consisted of ICC raiding. To be honest, it was a bit much!
Tuesday rolls around. I posted last week that I was silently stalking the raid leader of the group I had such a great time with, and that I was going to conveniently be online when their raid was due to form. However, he beat me to the punch! I get a whisper- "Would you be interested in coming to ICC tonight?" I try not to explode into smithereens of absolute giddy pleasure and quickly respond, "Hell yeah!" There's an invite on my calender and I'm quickly stocking up on the things I need to raid, making sure I'm repaired, etc.
I ended up doing a ToC25 PuG in another effort to get 'my' shield or 'my' trinket, but we couldn't down Anub before I end up needing to leave to go to ICC. It was pretty spectacularly horrible. I wanted to bash my head against a wall by the end of it. I drop vent and head to the other vent, and immediately begin to feel better as I hear voices which are already familiar.
It was, as like last week, an absolute mind-blowing joy to raid with them.
I got boots off of Marrowgar which I almost refused to take because they were 'icky crit boots' but then I realized that baseline they still had more int, plus two sockets... so I took them. Which great reluctance. Now they're gemmed, but not enchanted, and I'm wearing them and sulking about it; just you wait until I get my crafted boots!
One shot everything and it's on to Valithria. I explain to the shaman healer I've been two-healing this with that I... have never successfully restored Valithria to her full health. That I am (tragically) a keyboard turner and am nervous about 'doing this fight right'. He explains that we just need to gather as many stacks as we can in the portals, explains he's on a laptop too and understands my pain, and then challenges me (in a friendly fashion) to outheal him; he says that even if I don't end up with any stacks, as long as I'm mainly healing the dragon he could probably heal it himself just with that little bit of help.
This makes me feel better. I beacon one of the tanks, and -get to it-.
It was actually kind of fun! Unfortunately, the last two portals I'd inadvertantly let my stacks fall off because I blew my CDs and went balls to the walls and didn't notice the portals opening, I was too entranced by the pretty green numbers with the, what, 19 stacks of buff? ... but we had it anyway, even with my lapse in judgement. (By the way, the shaman beat me- but not by toooo much!) She even dropped me some nice (HASTE) shaman mail that the shaman didn't want to replace my icky crit T10 gloves once I get my T10 helm! I'll wear them until I can accrue the frost emblems for the awesome off-set 264 gloves- om nom nom!
Then it's off to Rottie and Fester. I don't remember much except some people go upgrades, which was great! We still had some time... so, raid leader says we'll do one or two attempts on Putrecide and re-group on Thursday.
Well what do you know, we one shot the bastard.
Feeling great, we disband, and I enthuse to the shaman healer about how awesome it was to raid with them and how much I love cohealing with him, because shaman plus paladin equals pure sex in terms of healing composition in a melee heavy group!
Wednesday rolls around, and, oh, hey? You know how I got my shaman into a new guild? She's signed up for ICC10! Welllll ooookaaay. Twist my arm. I need the frost emblems to fund Dyna's boots anyway. We head in and...
Well, I don't know. I think I went temporarily retarded. Being DPS seems to do that to me. =/ On Marrowgar I kept finding myself not where I was supposed to be, almost missed the call for heroism because my macro didn't pop right. Deathwhisper, I kept critting myself in the face on the mobs I wasn't supposed to hit, and had to ask 'how do I know which ones I shouldn't hit?' which was responded to with 'they have bubbles around them'. Right. The giant reflective bubbles that mean I-- oh fuck I just crit myself in the face again. I felt stupid.
We wiped a few times on Deathwhisper then downed her. Then did the weekly raid quest, which was to kill a frost giant- that was fun, and I didn't fuck up there. Then we move onto Gunship, and we're told to get rocket packs. I go to grab a rocket pack, click past the text-- OH SHIT THE FIGHT IS STARTING. Guess who talked to the wrong NPC.
I wanted to slam my face into a wall, I felt so dumb. I was appalled at myself. Still, we one-shot it; I mean, lootshit, duh. Then we move on to Saurfang, and I managed not to look like a moron there; even got a shiny necklace upgrade.
I don't remember if we downed Festergut. I don't think we did.
Overall, I was the top DPS; but each individual fight I was second. The mage and rogue fought between first and third, but I was consistantly second. I guess I did alright, but my sheer stupidity elsewhere makes me cringe. I did apologize to the raid leader and I did fess up to my mistakes, I didn't try to let someone else take the blame, at least. This raid, though it had people I knew, wasn't as much fun as the one on my holy pala. The raid group Dyna raids with is so amazingly competent. I'm not really one to talk (apparently) because I failed a lot, but... I don't know. No one even said anything when I fucked up, other than 'oh shit we're starting' on Gunship. But, eh, ICC raiding. I get to do it. I'm happy.
Thursday happens. We have Blood Wing and our progression boss- Sindragosa. We one shot Blood Princes, and two-shot Blood Queen but sadly miss the weekly raid quest on it- oh well! Then it's off to beat our faces against Sindragosa.
I will admit it. I expected us to down her, going into that.
It took some work, though. We hammered out positions. We fixed our strats. We had some really heartbreaking wipes- 12%, if only, if only!! Then the PuG retpally says 'sorry guys gotta go' and drops. After, like, three wipes. You knew this was progression night, I call you a pansy for quitting. Pfeh! So we try to nine man it.
This doesn't work either; strangely, we have the DPS... but two healing it is killing us. Literally. We consistantly get to third phase, and consistantly, one of the healers gets blocked and the other one can't keep everyone up alone. Saaaad.
I manage to pique the interest of a friend who 'quit wow', but was lurking on a lowbie alt, who brought in her ICC25HM geared ele shammy... we try three healing...
It's messy. We made some mistakes, things that were preventable. But that damn dragon dies, even after the raid leader says 'well that was a good attempt guys...' Silly raid leader!
The ele shammy wasn't even the top DPS, despite her amazing gear; I think she was kinda rusty, to be honest. Still, she pulled out the stops at the end and self ressed, pumping every ounce of pain she had into the dragon.
That's how I became a 11/12 ICC10 raider in two weeks!
We visit Arthas, do one wipe just for fun, just to see how the fight starts, and we're laughing and giddy as we die. Turns out? The edge of the platform really does mean the edge of the platform. Not on the edge doesn't cut it. Who'd've thought it?!
Then Friday hits, and... well. Frankly I'm kinda raided out. I just want to hang out in my skivvies and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and eat jello because it's hot and my head hurts. But... I signed up for the 25man. And I'll be damned if I won't honor my obligations. Besides, Marrowgar drops a sexy sexy shield that I'd really like to have; I already decided if the shield off of Sindi drops for us (which it didn't) the shaman gets it, I won't even roll, just because I know he really really wants it, and I've already gotten a fair bit out of loot raiding with them.
So I log on. And I do the raid thing. And it would've been okay, except my head is pounding, it's hot, and, oh, the raid is supposed to last for five hours. Five. Hours. And if you leave early, you won't get another invite back. Ffffffff.
We one shot everything up to Rotface, we do the weekly raid quest, I get a butt-ton of frost emblems and rep and all, but nothing I'm even remotely interested in drops. Eh. Oh well. We wipe a few times on Rotface, then down him, and move onto Fester.
For fuck's sake, we wiped on Festergut at least nine times after waiting for someone who is AFK for half an hour, re-explaining the fight to new people PuGged in at least four times... we're wiping because people are running the wrong way, there's oozes in the raid, and I want to just bash my face into a wall because it would feel more productive than this.
When the trash respawned, I finally gave in. "I'm sorry, guys, my head is killing me and I can't see straight. I hate to be 'that guy' who leaves, but I can't do this anymore, I'm not even healing at max capacity'. Which was true. My tank kept dying. Mostly because we had a shit-ton of oozes and no one was doing the right thing, but even with me- ME, a paladin- AND a tree druid on him, he was still biting the dust. I can say I messed up a bit, trying to make him my beacon target and healing other people- he'd be out of range and then POOF die. And I messed up because sometimes he was just out of range after we ran out for whatever the crap that AoE is. I don't know. I wasn't at my best, and my tank died, and I don't know how much of it was me not being at my best, and how much of it was unnecessary damage from DPS being retarded.
And now it's Saturday, and I'm glad I've got no more obligations until next Tuesday. You know. Because, by the way? My cohealer shaman in that raid group? LOVES me. Adores me. And the raid leader has extended a tentative invitation for me to be part of their group, even if I'm not guilded with them. Hell, they even helped me gem and enchant my upgrades! It was- I mean, I felt so- happy... because I was a part of their group. And they wanted to help me. And I want to help them. And if I wasn't in an RP guild that I can't leave, I WOULD JOIN THEM IN A HEARTBEAT. Just so they know for sure that I'm not leaving them anytime soon, if only they'll keep me around!
I'm two days away from my T10 helm, then I get to wear my shiny new haste shaman mail. I'm 3/5 primordial saronite for my boots, then I'm working on pants. Because damn it. Those pants are really, really nice. Once I get the frost emblem gloves, Dyna's frosts will also go towards prims, instead of just Iztli's, and I'm hoping the process will become much faster. I'm still dreading it, though.
But yes. Raiding overload. Too much of a good thing... can be a bad thing. I think I'll stick to Dyna's ten man team, and skip the 25... probably... there's some really nice gear out of 25... Maybe DPS on Iztli for her group, if they even want me around after last week's show of stupid.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Watching from afar
It's Sunday. The guild raid I joined on Thursday was supposed to down Sindy yesterday; they were hoping to move on to the Lich King, and, as I check the main tank's armory activity feed, scanning anxiously to see if they made it- my heart skips a beat, then falls. They didn't.
... when did I become a stalker??
Reverse, rewind.
It's Wednesday. After some real life obligations have been taken care of, I'm out doin' what I do best- role playing. Actually? I'm busy role playing my shaman, Iztli, into a guild. Which is entertaining because there's an interview process, and Iztli isn't exactly known for having people skills. As I emote her sniffing her interviewer curiously and listening to things that no one else can hear because she's batshit crazy, I notice Trade chat has a bulletin:
"Looking for Tank or Sassy Tank Healer for ICC at 6:30; 7/12, hoping for 9/12"
I bite my tongue. I've never seen those fights. The person posting is someone I've PuGged with before- a pallytank who MT'd Onyxia 25, and, memorably, called out several of the DPS whose DPS was lower than his own. Being an RP server, that sort of behaviour has a stigma to it- you're seen as elitist. Especially being as it was a full PuG. Yet I can't help but agree when people get called out for being bad. And I'm sorry, if you're in full T9 but can't figure out how to gem, spec, or play your class, then please, take the minimal effort and learn, it isn't that difficult.
But, you're not supposed to be mean in PuGs. I've seen people kicked for less. Frankly, it makes me roll my eyes, and I quietly give up hope on progression raiding as I beat my face into the wall every time I see someone pulls sub 2k as a DPS in all 232s.
This guy, however? He has a rep, in my eyes. And not a bad one, either. Well geared, knows what he's doing, not afraid to be mean- the sort of thing I'd look for in a tank- or in a raid leader.
But I don't know the fights. Being as I had, in fact, given up hope on getting past Festergut and Rotface, Blood Princes and beyond? Seemed unattainable.
So minutes pass. Iztli, remarkably, gets accepted into the guild, even after using her nose to assess her fellow interviewees. As she is given a pocket radio and ponders its taste- much to the chagrin of guild chat, which is abruptly barraged with slobbering sounds- I watch the ad get posted again. And again. Not spamming, but he posts every five to ten minutes or so; clearly he hasn't found someone.
Well. What the hell.
I send him a tell saying I'm a tank healer on an alt, but I don't know the fights. I give him my pally's name- then promptly facepalm. I've logged out in RP gear. Still, I have my rings and trinkets and libram equipped... I whisper him quickly- "Oops logged out in RP gear."
I get a tell back. "How much do you know about tank healing?" What. I am paladin. What don't I know about tank healing?? It's all I do! I heal tanks! He wanted sassy, didn't he? "I'm a paladin. It's what I do. I keep tanks alive. They do not die. This is my job." "Holy Light build, I see, picked up divine guardian; you gem for int?" "Nothing but, except my nightmare tear. But I don't know fights beyond Rotface and Festergut." "You keep the tanks up and don't stand in the fire." "... kay." "Sending an invite. Be on time, please."
... that easy. And, my heart soars- he knew the first thing about pally healing! Half the people on my server playing holy paladins couldn't tell you the difference between HL and FoL builds; everyone seems subspecced into ret, gearing for crit, and gemming... whatever the hell happens to fall into their palms! My closet elitist- which, I swear, really isn't that elite, just wishes people would research their class just a little bit before subjecting me to it- is singing arias for joy!
As my shaman continues to drool on her pocket radio and then wanders off to go play in the Moonwell- I'm hoping to rile up the local Kal'dorei population, see- I am grinning like an idiot and practically skipping for joy. He knew what pallies are supposed to gem for!
Prior to the raid, of course, I go tankspot the two fights we're going to be doing- Blood Princes and Blood Queen. For some reaosn, tankspot clicks with my brain a lot better than just a verbal explanation or reading a strategy guide; I watch the players do what they're supposed to do as the person explains how and why they're doing it. For some reason, I have a really hard time paying attention when the raid leader just talks and talks and talks... which is bad. I try. But it doesn't make sense until I can see it in action. So I prepare myself. I'm not going to look like a moron.
I buy some haste food from the AH, curse roundly as I can't find int/haste elixirs and pick up some frost wyrms instead, and make sure I'm logged on half an hour early. I check the loot lists; not much I want from there. I check the invites; looks like a pretty good raid comp. Lots of druids, a shaman, three pallies if you count me... I wait.
The raid forms. I get on Vent, which the raid leader is pleased to hear I possess. I get ninja inspected by the DK, who points out my trinkets and libram with approval- "A holy paladin who knows what they're doing!" Gasp- someone who can see past the low iLevel of these things?
"We have high expectations for you!" I am told in vent, as someone gives me raid assist 'to mark tanks in case you have healbot or something'. That's pretty spiffy; I mark the tanks as tanks, and also put the triangle and square over their heads, just to make them stand out more. Even though they gave me assist with that intent in mind, minutes later someone points out delightedly- "Hey, the tanks are marked!" And I grin to myself. "That was me." I type in raid chat, since my mic sounds like I'm in a wind tunnel. There's ooo-ing and aaa-ing over Vent; clearly I am exceeding their 'high expectations' so far.
We one shot blood princes. I barely remember the fight; it's frantic, for me. First time I've been there, there's damage flying and I'm determined to do my share. I have troubles making sure I'm not Standing In The Fire while also making sure my tanks are in range/LoS/whatever and throwing heals when urgently needed on DPS. Amazingly? No one dies. And, despite my initial assumption that there wasn't much for me on the loot tables for the bosses we're doing? I get a tasty tasty upgrade in the form of a ring to replace the spirit/haste 245 emblem ring. It has slightly less haste, but more int- and a socket for MOAR INT STILL. I am giddy; no one else rolls on it, no one else is even remotely interested in it.
Blood Queen is two or three shots; we had some difficulty with the bites. Just coordination stuff, really. It's not a tidy kill, but we down her... and head back for Putrecide.
Here is where I become less Pro and more Flailing Newb. I'm having a hard time hearing Vent because my speakers suck and The Boyfriend wants to watch TV. I miss most of the fight explanation and begin to get colors confused. On the purple ooze, stand by the green nozzle.. on the greeze ooze, stand in the middle? Oh god, now I'm in the middle of no where by myself... oh shit there's a thingie on me what do I do kite it into gr-- aggghhh!
We wipe a few times, and I move away from the noisy TV and focus on what the Other Healers are doing. We murder Putrecide; again, not a pretty kill, but a kill. Not only that, but the raid lead is calling people out on their mistakes; I don't catch my name, but he seems familiar with the group. It isn't public humiliation- just a simple, 'oy, you were in ___ when you needed to be ___'.
We move on to Sindragosa, since they already saved Valithria, and we wipe a few times before calling it a night. Everyone's positive. Our strategy on Sindy is good. The prot pally and I trade off using Divine Sacrifice on transitions. It's... nice. I was invited to Saturday's continuation, but...
Work. I have it.
So here I am, Sunday, going back to check and see if they downed her. I hope they did. But they didn't. I watch from afar and feel a twinge. I would like to be a part of that raid team. The raid team that gets past Rotface and Festergut. The raid team that doesn't wipe and automatically blame the healers for not healing through the fire. The raid team that recognizes a holy paladin who knows her class.
... they didn't down Sindragosa, or the Lich King, or Ruby Sanctum. And I don't know if the raid just never found the tank healer to do it, or if RL happened, or if they spent hours wiping.
For one glorious night I was a part of a team of people who were skilled and recognized my skill. It makes me feel sad and sort of pathetic, that I will continue to quietly stalk their progression from afar. That I will mysteriously sign on next Tuesday half an hour before their raid happens to start, and be mysterious 'not-busy' in case they need a holy paladin like they seem to. And yes, I stalked the guild; there's one retadin who dual specs holy. And a disc priest, who might fill the spot I happened to stumble across.
I can't gquit on Dyna; her guild is a huge part of her identity, of her character. Otherwise I'd ask to join this raid guild and earn a raid slot for myself.
So instead I'll watch. I'll stalk them from afar, and cheer when they do down Sindragosa- and hope against hope that they need a holydin next week.
... when did I become a stalker??
Reverse, rewind.
It's Wednesday. After some real life obligations have been taken care of, I'm out doin' what I do best- role playing. Actually? I'm busy role playing my shaman, Iztli, into a guild. Which is entertaining because there's an interview process, and Iztli isn't exactly known for having people skills. As I emote her sniffing her interviewer curiously and listening to things that no one else can hear because she's batshit crazy, I notice Trade chat has a bulletin:
"Looking for Tank or Sassy Tank Healer for ICC at 6:30; 7/12, hoping for 9/12"
I bite my tongue. I've never seen those fights. The person posting is someone I've PuGged with before- a pallytank who MT'd Onyxia 25, and, memorably, called out several of the DPS whose DPS was lower than his own. Being an RP server, that sort of behaviour has a stigma to it- you're seen as elitist. Especially being as it was a full PuG. Yet I can't help but agree when people get called out for being bad. And I'm sorry, if you're in full T9 but can't figure out how to gem, spec, or play your class, then please, take the minimal effort and learn, it isn't that difficult.
But, you're not supposed to be mean in PuGs. I've seen people kicked for less. Frankly, it makes me roll my eyes, and I quietly give up hope on progression raiding as I beat my face into the wall every time I see someone pulls sub 2k as a DPS in all 232s.
This guy, however? He has a rep, in my eyes. And not a bad one, either. Well geared, knows what he's doing, not afraid to be mean- the sort of thing I'd look for in a tank- or in a raid leader.
But I don't know the fights. Being as I had, in fact, given up hope on getting past Festergut and Rotface, Blood Princes and beyond? Seemed unattainable.
So minutes pass. Iztli, remarkably, gets accepted into the guild, even after using her nose to assess her fellow interviewees. As she is given a pocket radio and ponders its taste- much to the chagrin of guild chat, which is abruptly barraged with slobbering sounds- I watch the ad get posted again. And again. Not spamming, but he posts every five to ten minutes or so; clearly he hasn't found someone.
Well. What the hell.
I send him a tell saying I'm a tank healer on an alt, but I don't know the fights. I give him my pally's name- then promptly facepalm. I've logged out in RP gear. Still, I have my rings and trinkets and libram equipped... I whisper him quickly- "Oops logged out in RP gear."
I get a tell back. "How much do you know about tank healing?" What. I am paladin. What don't I know about tank healing?? It's all I do! I heal tanks! He wanted sassy, didn't he? "I'm a paladin. It's what I do. I keep tanks alive. They do not die. This is my job." "Holy Light build, I see, picked up divine guardian; you gem for int?" "Nothing but, except my nightmare tear. But I don't know fights beyond Rotface and Festergut." "You keep the tanks up and don't stand in the fire." "... kay." "Sending an invite. Be on time, please."
... that easy. And, my heart soars- he knew the first thing about pally healing! Half the people on my server playing holy paladins couldn't tell you the difference between HL and FoL builds; everyone seems subspecced into ret, gearing for crit, and gemming... whatever the hell happens to fall into their palms! My closet elitist- which, I swear, really isn't that elite, just wishes people would research their class just a little bit before subjecting me to it- is singing arias for joy!
As my shaman continues to drool on her pocket radio and then wanders off to go play in the Moonwell- I'm hoping to rile up the local Kal'dorei population, see- I am grinning like an idiot and practically skipping for joy. He knew what pallies are supposed to gem for!
Prior to the raid, of course, I go tankspot the two fights we're going to be doing- Blood Princes and Blood Queen. For some reaosn, tankspot clicks with my brain a lot better than just a verbal explanation or reading a strategy guide; I watch the players do what they're supposed to do as the person explains how and why they're doing it. For some reason, I have a really hard time paying attention when the raid leader just talks and talks and talks... which is bad. I try. But it doesn't make sense until I can see it in action. So I prepare myself. I'm not going to look like a moron.
I buy some haste food from the AH, curse roundly as I can't find int/haste elixirs and pick up some frost wyrms instead, and make sure I'm logged on half an hour early. I check the loot lists; not much I want from there. I check the invites; looks like a pretty good raid comp. Lots of druids, a shaman, three pallies if you count me... I wait.
The raid forms. I get on Vent, which the raid leader is pleased to hear I possess. I get ninja inspected by the DK, who points out my trinkets and libram with approval- "A holy paladin who knows what they're doing!" Gasp- someone who can see past the low iLevel of these things?
"We have high expectations for you!" I am told in vent, as someone gives me raid assist 'to mark tanks in case you have healbot or something'. That's pretty spiffy; I mark the tanks as tanks, and also put the triangle and square over their heads, just to make them stand out more. Even though they gave me assist with that intent in mind, minutes later someone points out delightedly- "Hey, the tanks are marked!" And I grin to myself. "That was me." I type in raid chat, since my mic sounds like I'm in a wind tunnel. There's ooo-ing and aaa-ing over Vent; clearly I am exceeding their 'high expectations' so far.
We one shot blood princes. I barely remember the fight; it's frantic, for me. First time I've been there, there's damage flying and I'm determined to do my share. I have troubles making sure I'm not Standing In The Fire while also making sure my tanks are in range/LoS/whatever and throwing heals when urgently needed on DPS. Amazingly? No one dies. And, despite my initial assumption that there wasn't much for me on the loot tables for the bosses we're doing? I get a tasty tasty upgrade in the form of a ring to replace the spirit/haste 245 emblem ring. It has slightly less haste, but more int- and a socket for MOAR INT STILL. I am giddy; no one else rolls on it, no one else is even remotely interested in it.
Blood Queen is two or three shots; we had some difficulty with the bites. Just coordination stuff, really. It's not a tidy kill, but we down her... and head back for Putrecide.
Here is where I become less Pro and more Flailing Newb. I'm having a hard time hearing Vent because my speakers suck and The Boyfriend wants to watch TV. I miss most of the fight explanation and begin to get colors confused. On the purple ooze, stand by the green nozzle.. on the greeze ooze, stand in the middle? Oh god, now I'm in the middle of no where by myself... oh shit there's a thingie on me what do I do kite it into gr-- aggghhh!
We wipe a few times, and I move away from the noisy TV and focus on what the Other Healers are doing. We murder Putrecide; again, not a pretty kill, but a kill. Not only that, but the raid lead is calling people out on their mistakes; I don't catch my name, but he seems familiar with the group. It isn't public humiliation- just a simple, 'oy, you were in ___ when you needed to be ___'.
We move on to Sindragosa, since they already saved Valithria, and we wipe a few times before calling it a night. Everyone's positive. Our strategy on Sindy is good. The prot pally and I trade off using Divine Sacrifice on transitions. It's... nice. I was invited to Saturday's continuation, but...
Work. I have it.
So here I am, Sunday, going back to check and see if they downed her. I hope they did. But they didn't. I watch from afar and feel a twinge. I would like to be a part of that raid team. The raid team that gets past Rotface and Festergut. The raid team that doesn't wipe and automatically blame the healers for not healing through the fire. The raid team that recognizes a holy paladin who knows her class.
... they didn't down Sindragosa, or the Lich King, or Ruby Sanctum. And I don't know if the raid just never found the tank healer to do it, or if RL happened, or if they spent hours wiping.
For one glorious night I was a part of a team of people who were skilled and recognized my skill. It makes me feel sad and sort of pathetic, that I will continue to quietly stalk their progression from afar. That I will mysteriously sign on next Tuesday half an hour before their raid happens to start, and be mysterious 'not-busy' in case they need a holy paladin like they seem to. And yes, I stalked the guild; there's one retadin who dual specs holy. And a disc priest, who might fill the spot I happened to stumble across.
I can't gquit on Dyna; her guild is a huge part of her identity, of her character. Otherwise I'd ask to join this raid guild and earn a raid slot for myself.
So instead I'll watch. I'll stalk them from afar, and cheer when they do down Sindragosa- and hope against hope that they need a holydin next week.
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